Evolution.

Today was a pivotal milestone to conquer: finding my artistic and personal signature, what makes me ME, finding comfort in the person I've become and progressing forward ALIVE in my own skin. For this, I am truly thankful and happy. =)

Song of Songs is one of the most (if not THE most) beautiful pieces of poetry in history.  

Creative juices flowing :D Here we go!

Love, I await that moment.

THE moment.. when our eyes first meet.

My restless, cold heart goes silent

basking in the warmth of your gaze.

Amazed, intrigued, something about you draws me in.

I feel the connection, stuck in this game..

for the first time in a while, I'm willing to play

"Smooth Operator," one move and you'll be gone.

I'll sing softly as the birds greet the dawn.

Skin of milk and honey, your beauty is absurd.

Enough to leave Solomon himself without words.

I can't wait forever, but perhaps I'll embark

on the quest to whom I will give my heart.

Listen.

God's voice has been speaking so clearly to me lately. Random people approaching me just wanting to share a message with me. And they all seem to be connected:

"In Lystra there sat a man crippled in his feet, who was lame from birth and had never walked. He listened to Paul as he was speaking. Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be healed and called out, 'Stand up on your feet!' At that, the man jumped up and began to walk." - Acts 14:8-10

"Where true faith is, it will induce obedience; and where it does induce obedience, it will always, in one form or another, bring a blessing." - W. Hay Aitken

"If you want to be extraordinary, you must make decisions beyond the norm." - my own mind.. haha

" Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." - Isaiah 30:21

"The measure of a believer's power is dependent on the degree of his or her surrender." - a quote my friend Dave Sormillion shared with me

"It takes more courage to let go, be completely vulnerable, and be led by blind faith than to stray your own path out of fear." - my own mind again.. haha

"You deserve happiness; don't let unfortunate mishaps and hopelessness tell you otherwise.Tis simply a matter of refusing defeat, even if you lose." - another one of my epiphanies. 

With that I'm just going to keep it simple and end with this: God's showing me the way and I couldn't be more excited, but scared, to follow it.

Pray for me,

Kina

Starting Line.

It's almost been two months since my last post. And it's time to reflect. 

After much meditation, soul searching, seclusion, work, and getting to know new people/places/opportunties.. I've gotten to know myself a bit better.  Last blog I talked about a paradox within me: fire and rage versus a dark, empty void.  It's not suprising, as I found out that my element is fire literally.. in astrology.  If you think about fire uncontrolled, it blazes wildly.  It's powerful, but terribly destructive.  It's reckless, angry, unrelenting, and once it has used up all its energy, it quickly burns out.  This is what I was before.  The more the lost, confused blaze grew within me, the weaker the light grew in my eyes.  

(I'm not gonna lie. I learned a lot from UNCLE on Avatar, the cartoon show. LOL!)

But if you think about it, the potential is immense.  If fire is controlled, it gives light, growth, warmth, and its energy is so powerful beyond measure.  I know I've got this inside of me and it's now time that I tap into it.  It took a while to get here, but I can honestly say.. that I'm finding my ground.  Where I need to be, what choices I should make to get there, and how to come into my skin. 

I've tried to find a sense of belonging in the wrong ways, with places and people that weren't right for me. Realization: Never in my life have I been able to get strength and validation from others, so why keep trying?  The people that matter have been sent by God not to give it to me, but to help me find it within myself.  Only when I make the decision to take control of my own life will I be able to find my purpose, and really be free to grow without boundaries.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being angry, imperfect, and lost.  Nor is it selfish to leave everything and everyone else behind in pursuit of where I need to be. 

I've decided that it's my time now.. to stand up, run toward my goal, and fight to make my dreams happen.  I'm not going to be scared anymore.  I am no longer the petty little baby that I've let everyone see me as.  I, with everything I will become, am way more than what you see.  

This is not a statement of pride or conceit.  I'm grateful beyond words to those who have paved the way for me to get here and I know I've got a hell of a lot more to learn.  I'm ready to stretch myself out of my comfort zone.  Only when I master all the elements God has yet to give me will I really be able to establish that sense of who I am.  What matters is that I'm moving.  I'm not just ready to blah blah blah. I'm actively doing it.  I've jumped the most difficult hurdle: the starting line.

With that I guess I'll end it here. I'll probably edit this 5 times more, but oh well!

Thanks for listening,

Kris