Psalm 61:2
"From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Wow, coming back to this blog after living life a little bit more sure puts things into perspective. To the Artist in me, the woman in me, and even the child in me. All I can say to is that.. I'm sorry for your pain. I'm sorry for what you've been through. But you don't have to stay in this place anymore. You can come into the light and leave it all behind you. I know it seems almost impossible right now, because for so long it's all you've ever known. So many times you've tried to break free, but life has continued to cast you back here. But I promise you, you were meant for greater things. Chosen, destined. All you need to do is take my hand. Together, we'll find our way...with God as our guide. In faith, we'll make it through.
I've spent many years trying to run away from this dark place - a source of fear, sorrow, hopelessness. I've kept myself in chains. I tried to make peace with every painful memory that's haunted me and kept me from moving forward. But I realized, the battle is constant. We're constantly changing, learning, and trying to overcome our own demons - old and new. This place of solitude doesn't have to be dark anymore. And being in the light, doesn't mean the darkness doesn't exist. No, that would be like driving with blinders on. I can find strength in this place - in the balance of all things. Acceptance, understanding, and freedom. The outcome is predestined, I need not fear anymore. I just have to let go of the dark voices, telling me nothing but lies. Telling me that I'm "unwanted" or "unworthy" of such blessing. The voices that over time have become my own. But I was never alone. God and his angels have always been right by my side.
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for never leaving me. When everyone else gave up on me and even when I gave up on myself, you never did. Thank you for sending your angels to guide and encourage me. You have brought me to this high place, a place where I can stand strong. I promise to keep fighting, because I love you. Because I love the world.
